Self-love and self-compassion are two of the most important steps that we can take in our healing and evolution.
But, often I hear from baffled patients, “How can I really step into loving myself”?
This is such a good question because how can we love ourselves when internally we have negating voices running which say things like, “I’m just not good enough”, “Deep down inside I feel tainted” or “I have to work extra hard to get love, because I’m just not lovable”.
It is a set up for disaster when you make yourself into a pretzel to get love from “out there” to try to placate and calm your negative internal voices.
Because even if you find the perfect love “out there” no one can ever give you enough love to satisfy the deep well of not good enough.
In order to truly love yourself, you need to love and have compassion for ALL parts of you, especially the aspects that don’t feel good enough, are mean or even brutal to yourself.
I have found that through my many years of practice very few people actually feel the true power of loving themselves.
Do you? Do you love yourself as much as you love the people who are most dear to you in your life? Do you feel madly in love with who you are?
If you said no, you are not alone.
There are many great practices out there which can help you open the door to self-love; such as looking in the mirror and practicing loving what you see or naming and bringing love to the parts of self that you already like. But, truly loving yourself means that you need to love all of yourself. Not just the parts that you easily like.
Loving and having compassion for all of you includes loving the parts that have been in lockdown and hiding out in the closet of your subconscious. These parts of you also desperately need your love too.
For in truly opening to love and compassion you show up for the parts that are the most difficult, such as the voices that are self-judgemental, harshly authoritarian, terrified and collapsed, as well as the most vicious, the voice of self-hatred.
For many, you might find yourself negate these comments and say, “Oh, this is not me”. However, I encourage you to really step back and take a good long look at yourself. How often do you judge yourself? How often do you have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach conveying the feeling that you are not good enough? Perhaps even worthless?
These voices are virulent in the collective unconscious of our society; they are inherited, they are created as a response to trauma, they are socialized from living in this society and they travel with us from experiences in our past lives.
Wherever they come from we know them because we feel terrible when they are running. They treat us in the most unloving ways. You probably wouldn’t even hang out with others who treat you this terribly. Yet these voices treat you rotten and they arise from within you. How can you step into knowing yourself as a divine being with these voices running?
You don’t find your way out of the traps of negative self-talk by judging or critiquing the voices back. They are doing a very good job of that already. Your way out is to open to loving and having compassion for these parts of self. For these aspects of self typically come from deeply painful experiences and they need to be brought back into to the light of loving acceptance from your higher self.
For your higher self has the ability to put these parts at ease, to help them remember that no matter what has happened that they are loved and are connected to the higher consciousness of the divine.
As a sovereign being engaging your free will consciousness you have the divine right to claim and Love ALL parts of your being and bring them back home into the loving arms of your spirit.
Are you ready to reclaim this Love for ALL parts of you?